I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen

Hey everyone, I have a pretty good idea that no one will actually see this post, but I plan to delete my livejournal and leave my frivolous blogging to twitter. Everyone who's on my friend's list, I have enjoyed reading about your lives a great deal and I just don't really feel like this is serving the purpose I hoped it would. I have a new blog on wordpress.com where I'll be posting sporadically.

https://twitter.com/somuchbraver

http://somuchbraver.wordpress.com/

If anyone on my flist has a twitter, I'd love to follow you.

Thanks everyone :)


-Danielle

Jett Travolta died yesterday at the age of 16. I remember reading about this kid almost his entire life. Reading about their approach to the delivery and John's insights on becoming a parent. It seems personal in a very strange way. I can't imagine how he is coping with losing someone whom always was such a precious addition to his family. I just want to send the grief and best wishes I have out into cyberspace. I hope that this horrible event can manage to preserve the privacy and dignity it deserves.

So for my fiction workshop this semester the final was a 12 question self interview, and the results actually turned out to be a fairly interesting read, so I thought I'd share.

( Interview behind the cut )

This is my thesis:

"The Psychoanalytical school of thought has long considered the accepted psychological origin of homosexuality as a disruption in the completion of the oedipal phase. However, modern gay fiction and memoir is redifining the oedipal complex in it's own image. Specifically, the application of the oedipal phase as the desire for the parent with the gender of one's sexual preference as seen in the works of David Sedaris, Edmund White, Dorothy Allison, and my own personal experience."


I'm kind of wondering if this is just a fluke of literature or if this is a legitimate trend. Of course it's not the purpose of the paper to conduct any kind of research on the psychological landscape of the question or it's legitimacy, but if it were I think I'd have my work cut out for me. People are by and large uncomfortable with many of the ideas in Freudian theory, and I think that's what makes it such a great place for literature. Why is the idea of any sexual desire for a parent so very threatening? I think Freud is really saying that we're simply playing the parts we've been assigned. Whether that assignment is biologically inherent or learned.

My sources for this paper are A Boy's Own Story by Edmund White, Trash, a collection of short stories by Dorothy Allison, and Naked, an autobiographical novel by David Sedaris. All three of these novels deal very intimately and candidly with what at times seems to be an obsession of sorts with the parent of the same sex. Since part of my paper includes personal experience, I will be talking about my own views on the subject. So, for curiosity, please take the poll.

Also please comment if you have anything to add! I'd love to discuss this!


Poll #1316571 Oedipus and You
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: Friends, participants: 7

What is your sexual preference?

What is your opinion of Psychoanalytic/Freudian Theory?

Have you ever had any manner of sexual thoughts about your parental figure of the opposite sex?

Have you ever had any manner of obsessive thought or longing for approval of/connection with your parent of the opposite sex?

Have you ever had any manner of sexual thoughts about your parental figure of the same sex?

Have you ever had any manner of obsessive thought or longing for approval of/connection with your parent of the same sex?

When you went through your stage of resentment, who did you focus on?

This might actually be the final list of grad schools I plan to apply to. (Applications due January to Februrary 2009) These are pretty much listed in order of desire.

1. California State University, Long Beach

2. University of California, Riverside

3. Antioch University at Los Angeles

4. The School of Art Institute of Chicago

5. University of Washington

6. Minnesota State University at Mankato


Also, everyone check out my very first real live publication. The online literary journal, The Bare Root Review published me in their fall 08 issue!

http://www.southwest.msus.edu/CampusLife/BareRootReview/index.htm

For those of you who don't know yet; GOOD LORD do I love Dr. Who. In a jumping up and down screaming fist pumping disturbing my neighbors kind of way. I just watched the season four finale and can now come out of my cave with no fear of being horribly spoiled. I've been Netflixing the series and now that I've run out of new series I'm going to go back to the start. I have a feeling I won't like the old series as much as the new one- something tells me it's going to be like watching old Star Trek episodes but less forgivable in all the corny misogynistic glory because you know, it's not part of my culture. Hell, who knows, maybe that'll make it easier to take. Am I wrong headed in assuming that early Dr. Who will be as rampantly sexist as new Dr. Who is liberating?

(For my friends who are not caught up yet, I will edit this post if anyone comments with something spoilery, haha)

But can I just say- Rose. One of the most perfect creatures god ever created. I have got a huge, out of control, super crush on Rose. I want to write something smart about how amazing she is and how badass the women are on this series for our new feminist blog; but I haven't finished convulsing and drooling yet so I'll wait till that passes.

Finals are super crappy but the doctor is pulling me through.

I have a new blog on wordpress.com : http://somuchbraver.wordpress.com/
And petroldarling, klarva72, and me are off on a seperate blog there dithering on about some feminist hoo-ha so if that pleases you, here's the link : http://quelquesfilles.wordpress.com/

Can't change the color of the links on my journal and it's making me crazy. :( I hate that green!


Should I move to a site that looks a bit less like MySpace or maybe get a serious business blog at wordpress.com?

I swiped this link from an entry stellar_dust made, and I consider it important enough and well written enough to warrant it's own post. (I never post anymore, so this is quite the event)

A startlingly simple summary of how your vote will effect one particular group of people.

As long as I've got a few people watching, something happened this summer that I completely missed that I also consider monumental:

Dr. Horrible

why, you say, is Mr. Joss Whedon's latest project so significant? Because it was made by artists. It was written, shot, acted, designed, FUNDED completely by artists. While this isn't such an uncommon occurrence anymore, the Whedon fandom has made this special by bringing so much love...and profit, to it. The brilliant 45 minute short is up on the website with limited commercials, so if nothing else, watch it once. You can be sure that it's the artist's profit. It makes me sad that that's such a novel idea these days.

I promise I'll actually blog about myself next time.

Our family cat went missing two days ago from our house off of Cliff Rd. and Nichols in Eagan. She's a declawed calico indoor cat with no license or collar. She's overweight and mildly asthmatic and has green eyes. She's the family baby and we're very very worried about her, so if anyone in the area sees her or has seen her, please give us a call.



651-452-2758

Denny Crane and Alan Shore are the Romeo and Juliet of bi-partisan politics

AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!



I don't even know guys. I just don't know. I am officially peeing myself. hey people magazine, way to get me excited against my will. Good job. Now I'll have to kill myself if the movie is bad.

For everyone who was too drunk to remember the remainder of tonight-

I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU ALL!

Tomorrow (which is today by now) I get off work at 8,
and then on Wednesday I finish escorting by 5,
Thursday I can't remember,
and Friday and Saturday are completely free.

If anyone is free (to watch things, go do stuff, book shop, get drunk, ect.) plz do call!

Also, Michelle, low down on Dani's birthday celebrations for me?

I think tomorrow after I work there will be a trip to the Olive Garden for anyone interested! As soon as I figure out my schedule I'll set up a list of events, haha.

And congratulations to petroldarling on the most successful new years party I have yet attended. I hope nothing else got broken after I left, lol.

For everyone whom I have disappeared off the face of the planet for, I was waiting to make an announcement once I knew what the hell was happening, but this recovery process turns out to be more complicated than I figured. I got my wisdom teeth taken out on the 26th and since then I have been in a perpetual state of sleeping and laying around. I have work on Sunday and I don't really know how fit I'm going to be for it because my mouth has been completely unpredictable.

I did get Looking For Alaska read cover to cover though, unfortunately it's not a really "up" sort of novel so it hasn't done anything for my mood. Which by the way, fluctuates from yay I'm so glad my teeth are out and it's over, to I never want to leave my bed again why didn't the dentist just put me out of my misery. I hate that my brain is stuffed full of drugs and I'm not clear headed enough to even write anything of worth.

All this time to work on things and it's wasted on staring at walls and sleeping through the better part of the day. I thought I was going to get so much done.

The Bridge Poem
by Donna Kate Rushin


I’ve had enough
I’m sick of seeing and touching
Both sides of things
Sick of being the damn bridge for everybody

Nobody
Can talk to anybody
Without me
Right?

I explain my mother to my father
my father to my little sister
My little sister to my brother
my brother to the white feminists
The white feminists to the Black church folks
the Black church folks to the ex-hippies
the ex-hippies to the Black separatists
the Black separatists to the artists
the artists to my friends’ parents…

Then
I’ve got to explain myself
To everybody

I do more translating
Than the Gawdamn U.N.

Forget it
I’m sick of it.

I’m sick of filling in your gaps

Sick of being your insurance against
the isolation of your self-imposed limitations

Sick of being the crazy at your holiday dinners

Sick of being the odd one at your Sunday Brunches

Sick of being the sole Black friend to 34 individual white people

Find another connection to the rest of the world
Find something else to make you legitimate
Find some other way to be political and hip

I will not be the bridge to your womanhood
Your manhood
Your humanness

I’m sick of reminding you not to
Close off too tight for too long

I’m sick of mediating with your worst self
On behalf of your better selves

I am sick
Of having to remind you
To breathe
Before you suffocate
Your own fool self

Forget it
Stretch or drown
Evolve or die

The bridge I must be
Is the bridge to my own power
I must translate
My own fears
Mediate
My own weaknesses

I must be the bridge to nowhere
But my true self
And then
I will be useful

Hey! I'm hot!
It's so hot I don't know what to do!
I'm standing here. I'm hot.
I'm hot.
It's hot.

I was going to post an update, but the heat melted my brain. I am alive, barely, anyway. My mom left me a 24 pack of water and it's only been a week and it's almost gone. So, I haven't really been sleeping, or at least not for any solid amount of time. Dorm life sucks, I want to live in the residence apartments really really bad.

I tried a week of my intended schedule and the pressure level was to high so I dropped one of my courses, which is really sad because it was about homophobia and sexuality and it sounded like we were going to have a lot of really cool speakers. I'll probably read all the assigned books anyway though because they look good and the fucking bookstore won't take them back now because it's to late.

Melanie has this British friend visiting that she's annoyed with and I'm enjoying his refreshing britishness (even though he doesn't like Harry Potter, though Becca did make a very valid point about him probably not finding it as adorable and quaint as I did because that stuff isn't new or different to him) but we talked about film and eventually I'm going to force them all to watch Serenity and he didn't even wince while saying that Buffy was quality programming so I take that as a sign that he's brilliant. I take that as a sign that anyone's brilliant though, as long as it's not followed by something like, OMGZ LIEK SPIKE IS SOOO HOTT, WHY DIDN'T BUFFY AND ANGEL GET LIEK MARRIED??! SO IN LUVVV LOLZ!

Anyone who likes to get a hold of me by cell phone, I have some exciting news, I can now check my voice mail in Marshall! So if you call, please do leave a message, since I will hear it next time I have contact with my cell phone (which I have resorted to keeping in my mailbox for fear of the smoke detector)

I am not getting anywhere near LiveJournal until I have finished the entire new Harry Potter book so please don't be offended if I miss what's going on for awhile. :)

Also I think it's completely fucking sad that so many people are out to ruin other people's fun with this book. The reason people are so upset and uppity about spoilers (and even fake spoilers) is because mean spirited people are so determined to try and take the fun out of this for them. And the only reason for this: being mean. It's not funny, it doesn't make you look all smart and cool, so don't do it, people. A lot of people grew up with this series and for them this is a huge event. I don't see why they shouldn't be allowed to have the joy of being surprised by the ending.

I think the fact that this many people are out to read 4,224 pages (the total number in all seven books) is amazing and a great thing for novels in general. I don't see any good reason why when a large group of people get excited about something a lot of other people have to mock and/or try to ruin it. We're not asking you to read our goddamn books, we're asking you to leave us in peace while we do.

Just got back from OotP and here are some

( pictures )

As far as the movie itself, well, I had my complaints, but since this is my absolute favorite book in the series, that's not a surprise to me. The whole thing feels a little rushed, some of my very favorite parts are glossed over, and some stuff I thought was important was left out. I would have liked another 30 minutes of movie and more attention to the THEMES in the book, because as far as Order of the Phoenix goes, subtext is EVERYTHING. What I can say for the movie was that it was very stylistically pleasing, great music choices and all of the characters were well dressed and well lit. Not to mention Luna and Umbridge were AMAZING. I feel like I noticed a tendency not to let the stories mature, the movie seems to shy away from all the very adult things that start happening in the book at this point...or rather the adult things that Harry and friends start noticing. Except, predictably enough, sex. There are only two kisses in the whole of the movie but they stand out like big huge red flags and aren't so much kisses as full on make out sessions. Maybe I'm a bit prude about the boys and girls in Hogwarts, but come on, they're just discovering eachother, don't rush them!

Meme stolen from propernice

( Read more... )

My internet has suddenly refused to load; facebook, gmail, google, fandango, moviefone, and assorted other sites I frequent. This means I don't have access to my goddamn email and I am going INSANE. I don't even know WHY it's doing this and it's not just my computer, it's the internet here because our other computer is doing the same thing. I'm ready to just switch all my lj notifications to my school email. Why can't I have one consistent reliable address that WILL GIVE ME MY FUCKING MAIL??

Also, I think Bailey is put out with me because I didn't like the new pirates movie. I don't know what she expected.